I've been chatting with a few of my friends recently who seem to find empowerment and calmness through the practice of meditation. One such friend won't answer my phone calls in the morning while she's on the train heading to work because this is one of her many times during the day that she stops to find her own peace and tranquility. At first I found it kind of odd and brushed past the conversation topic, but as time went on and I continued to hear about her practice, which was quickly developing, I felt like I was missing out on something. I could see what meditation practice was doing to her, how her responses were changing, how she was viewing the world and the people amongst it differently...
She told me that when she needed to get herself back to a good place at work she would find an empty meeting room and meditate for a couple of minutes...does this blow your mind as much as it did mine? I couldn't ever picture doing the same thing, but I did feel a sense of curiosity as to how this would feel and what I would feel like afterward.
I'm sure most people go through a stressful work day and just 'deal with it' and keep chugging along until home time, because that's just what you do. I used to head to the mailroom if I needed a bit of downtime, have a nice friendly chat with the mailroom guy and whoever else was in there at the time. But this is different.
So, I decided to give it a go. I took a recommendation from my friend to download the 1 Giant Mind app and had my first 'session' four days ago...I sat upright with a pillow behind my back for support on my bed, crossed my legs, closed my eyes when I was indicated to do so and started to follow the instruction to repeat the mantra 'uh-hum'...except I couln't remember it! I kept saying 'uh huh' and 'Yum Cha'..! For the life of me, I could NOT remember the exact mantra and spent most of the time in a panic to delve back into my thoughts to remember it, and the other half of the time feeling as though I was about to fall asleep, my head falling forward. This apparently was all normal, according to the review video footage afterward - phew. It's okay to forget the mantra, and actually quite normal, and the sleepiness was my body trying to let go of my fatigue.
The second session my thoughts went wild - I don't know what was going on but I just couldn't stop my thoughts from thinking! I could not switch off, but again I was told this was normal and that when this does happen I should return to the mantra.
The third session was odd. It's as though I forgot why I was doing this and couldn't understand what it's purpose was. I felt calm, but I couldn't keep my breathing at a regular pace, concentrating on that made me feel as though I was starting to lose out on what I should be doing, but then I couldn't remember what I was meant to be doing..!
Maybe I'm not doing it right, or maybe I'm reading too much into it and should just let go.
I don't know...I would love to hear about other people's experiences...
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